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“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him.
And he will keep feeling that you are controlling him, because he doesn’t believe that you should set any limits on his conduct or insist that he meet his responsibilities.” ― Lundy Bancroft, “The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers.
His attitude is: “You owe me.” For each ounce he gives, he wants a pound in return.
Friends say: “He treats you that way because he can get away with it.
I would never let someone treat me that way.” But she knows that the times when she puts her foot down the most firmly, he responds by becoming his angriest and most intimidating.
When she stands up to him, he makes her pay for it—sooner or later.
Friends say: “Leave him.” But she knows it won’t be that easy. He’ll get friends and relatives to feel sorry for him and pressure her to give him another chance.